This is going to be a long post (by default) since I haven't posted in over a month.
For starters...
I'm groggy, and a tad grumpy. I didn't get much sleep last night and i'm certainly not feeling energetic. I'm in dire need of coffee, which I will get as soon as i'm done blogging...
My summer's been 'interesting' to say the least. This week i'm done with one class, which leaves my research, due next month, then i'm completely done. Thing is, I haven't worked on said research so um...I've come to the conclusion that I can't seem to get much done except I'm under a great deal of pressure; which is why I procrastinate. Getting things done ahead of time, doesn't give me as much satisfaction as getting it done a few hours prior or a day before. So said research will have to wait for a few days at least.
I have a full house because my brother's staying with me for the summer and so is my friend (she's been here since the end of May) as much as I like my space and isolate myself occasionally as a result; I've gotten used to having them around all the time. I think I might be extremely lonely come fall. We'll see.
I've been trying this whole...being positive deal, more on that later.
On the weekends i'm usually out on the lake. If i'm not tubing, i'm kayaking or canoeing. I've gotten darker as a result but I love it. I love that my thighs are finally the same color as my arms, and i'm almost even all around. I don't go out much at night and the times I've been are hit or misses. Sometimes I have a blast, other times i'm kicking myself mentally for venturing out in the first place. I went to this gay club over the weekend and met some really sweet people. I loved how the men were so nice to my friends and I. I don't think i've gotten that many 'you're so beautiful' compliments in one sitting.
I've been volunteering quite a bit and I love it. Last week I volunteered with the 'feed the hungry program'...I had to be there at 5am to help prep and serve food to the homeless. It felt really good doing that. I'm also going to be volunteering with the food bank and the sustainability center, doing fun stuff. Can't wait.
I gotta go. Be back soon!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Hullo there
1:52 am
of course i'm up and still will be for at least another hour or so. Oh, the life of a night owl. I just got back from a movie-star trek. Which Grace and I snuck into. Yes, we're in a recession, and the movies are a luxury. Hoorah for freebies!
I'm making some tea. Chai, to be precise. That might make me fall asleep quicker.I'm also listening to some mellow music...
I've been working extra hard in the gym, and i'm sore as a result. It's fine though. That means i'm doing it right eh? I usually spend an hour and a half in there. I do an hour of hill intervals on the elliptical and then lift weights and use a few of the other weight machines in there, which I have no idea what they're called. I just really want to get rid of this extra fatness I keep lugging around. I haven't bought jeans in ages and I can't do so because everything I see, that I want, won't fit. They stop midthigh. And that's it. If i'm lucky enough it'll get up to my hips and then...no luck. Ugh. Hopefully, i'll rid myself of a good 6-8lbs by the end of the month. I'm also doing pilates, parking my car at the furthest spot to wherever, basically getting a work out anyway I can.
I got a new do.
I love how it makes me look all crazily-emoish. :)
One of the books i'm reading is about being all positive and i'm really digging it. Maybe i'll stop being such a Debbie Downer when i'm done with it.
Soooooo my 'love' life is non-existent. As it almost always is...However, I'm going insane about this one guy. It's soo weird. I think i'm infatuated. Never been all giddy about a guy like this since I was a teen. There's nothing great about him really. Okay I lied. He just always looks yummy. It's annoying.So it's purely lust. There's nothing there, really. He's seeing someone. That's what he said.No he's not 'dating' her. He's 'seeing' her. In other words, he's fucking this one person. He OBVIOUSLY likes her...However, I do have this one thing. One of my 'issues'. I'm drawn to men that are emotionally unavailable. So yes, there. Blah. It's so sick I know. I want to be soo over his gorgeousness but blah. I should probably find my own guy sometime in this lifetime instead of lusting/seeing other people's boyfriends/men :(
Sometime, soon.
Preferrably,
now.
of course i'm up and still will be for at least another hour or so. Oh, the life of a night owl. I just got back from a movie-star trek. Which Grace and I snuck into. Yes, we're in a recession, and the movies are a luxury. Hoorah for freebies!
I'm making some tea. Chai, to be precise. That might make me fall asleep quicker.I'm also listening to some mellow music...
I've been working extra hard in the gym, and i'm sore as a result. It's fine though. That means i'm doing it right eh? I usually spend an hour and a half in there. I do an hour of hill intervals on the elliptical and then lift weights and use a few of the other weight machines in there, which I have no idea what they're called. I just really want to get rid of this extra fatness I keep lugging around. I haven't bought jeans in ages and I can't do so because everything I see, that I want, won't fit. They stop midthigh. And that's it. If i'm lucky enough it'll get up to my hips and then...no luck. Ugh. Hopefully, i'll rid myself of a good 6-8lbs by the end of the month. I'm also doing pilates, parking my car at the furthest spot to wherever, basically getting a work out anyway I can.
I got a new do.
I love how it makes me look all crazily-emoish. :)
One of the books i'm reading is about being all positive and i'm really digging it. Maybe i'll stop being such a Debbie Downer when i'm done with it.
Soooooo my 'love' life is non-existent. As it almost always is...However, I'm going insane about this one guy. It's soo weird. I think i'm infatuated. Never been all giddy about a guy like this since I was a teen. There's nothing great about him really. Okay I lied. He just always looks yummy. It's annoying.So it's purely lust. There's nothing there, really. He's seeing someone. That's what he said.No he's not 'dating' her. He's 'seeing' her. In other words, he's fucking this one person. He OBVIOUSLY likes her...However, I do have this one thing. One of my 'issues'. I'm drawn to men that are emotionally unavailable. So yes, there. Blah. It's so sick I know. I want to be soo over his gorgeousness but blah. I should probably find my own guy sometime in this lifetime instead of lusting/seeing other people's boyfriends/men :(
Sometime, soon.
Preferrably,
now.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay a while.
*sigh*
Don't even know WHERE to begin. I'll just be silent. Like I usually am, and let 'it' consume me like it usually does. There goes my sanity...
*sigh*
Don't even know WHERE to begin. I'll just be silent. Like I usually am, and let 'it' consume me like it usually does. There goes my sanity...
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Phase # 50543210
LMAO.
*regains composure*
So...I re-read my last post. HILARIOUS! And let's just leave it at that.
Anyhoo...
I have ISSUES. (Doesn't everyone right?) but I go through different phases, mostly on impulse. Apparently, I'm a vegetarian? I woke up yesterday and decided I was going to forfeit meat for like...ever. I know it most likely won't happen. The other time I 'tried' to become a vegetarian, I only lasted 17 hours. I TOTALLY forgot I was not supposed to be eating meat. Everyone says i'm not going to last long, which makes me even MORE determined to do so. Lol. Let's see how long this vegetarian phase pans out. Bottom line is that I DO get bored so very easily, so i'm always trying out something 'new'. However I never completely stick to anything so I end up dropping it for another 'love' or 'interest' (Commitment issues)
I'm going Natural!
My hair, which apparently hardly anyone knows what it looks like is about 3-4 inches long. Or short, or whatever. I cut it in September (an impulse phase thing as well) got tired of it, and went back to weaves (aka horse hair). However, I'm really digging the natural look. And I want to be able to sport a natural curly fro, so i'm going to cut it again today...chop it off to where it's about an inch in length...Hopefully it grows back, and fast! I'm still going to be wearing weaves/ wigs until I get it to a desirable length though. I know it's going to be VERY frustrating.The whole reverting-to-a-nappy-headed-ho-process.I'm still excited about it though. I'm even thinking about shaving my head completely and start completely from scratch, but my friends say i'm going to look like a cancer patient/ an ant. I have a small head + a narrow face so I could see that. We'll see.
This is what I look like, as of a few hours ago, in my 'natural' housegirl-looking state. Nappy hair, no makeup.It's okay to laugh. I forgive you.
p.s. I have eyelash extensions. My lashes aren't that long (as if).
Love, Love, Love my new running shoes. Excited about working out again. It felt soo good. did an hour of cardio and 20 minutes of weight lifting. I hope to stick to this routine for as long as I can, at least 5 times a week. Even if it means going to the gym twice somedays to achieve that. Can't wait to be toned again.
Checked out a bunch of books from the library but i'm too antsy to sit still and read, so i'm going back and forth through all the 7 books. Yup, I can't concentrate on just ONE thing for long. I get all fidgety.(ADD much?)
It's 4.05 am ...and i'm STILL up. I'm a night owl no doubt.
*regains composure*
So...I re-read my last post. HILARIOUS! And let's just leave it at that.
Anyhoo...
I have ISSUES. (Doesn't everyone right?) but I go through different phases, mostly on impulse. Apparently, I'm a vegetarian? I woke up yesterday and decided I was going to forfeit meat for like...ever. I know it most likely won't happen. The other time I 'tried' to become a vegetarian, I only lasted 17 hours. I TOTALLY forgot I was not supposed to be eating meat. Everyone says i'm not going to last long, which makes me even MORE determined to do so. Lol. Let's see how long this vegetarian phase pans out. Bottom line is that I DO get bored so very easily, so i'm always trying out something 'new'. However I never completely stick to anything so I end up dropping it for another 'love' or 'interest' (Commitment issues)
I'm going Natural!
My hair, which apparently hardly anyone knows what it looks like is about 3-4 inches long. Or short, or whatever. I cut it in September (an impulse phase thing as well) got tired of it, and went back to weaves (aka horse hair). However, I'm really digging the natural look. And I want to be able to sport a natural curly fro, so i'm going to cut it again today...chop it off to where it's about an inch in length...Hopefully it grows back, and fast! I'm still going to be wearing weaves/ wigs until I get it to a desirable length though. I know it's going to be VERY frustrating.The whole reverting-to-a-nappy-headed-ho-process.I'm still excited about it though. I'm even thinking about shaving my head completely and start completely from scratch, but my friends say i'm going to look like a cancer patient/ an ant. I have a small head + a narrow face so I could see that. We'll see.
This is what I look like, as of a few hours ago, in my 'natural' housegirl-looking state. Nappy hair, no makeup.It's okay to laugh. I forgive you.
p.s. I have eyelash extensions. My lashes aren't that long (as if).
Love, Love, Love my new running shoes. Excited about working out again. It felt soo good. did an hour of cardio and 20 minutes of weight lifting. I hope to stick to this routine for as long as I can, at least 5 times a week. Even if it means going to the gym twice somedays to achieve that. Can't wait to be toned again.
Checked out a bunch of books from the library but i'm too antsy to sit still and read, so i'm going back and forth through all the 7 books. Yup, I can't concentrate on just ONE thing for long. I get all fidgety.(ADD much?)
It's 4.05 am ...and i'm STILL up. I'm a night owl no doubt.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Backtracking
Soooo
I'm inebriated as I type. And shameless drove home buzzed. I try my d.a.r.ne.d hardest not to have more than 2 dr inks when I go out because , I get pissed drunk afterwards. I'm a cheap date I know.
(excuse the typo's)
God, I want aex but I hate men. I want some goo ol' fucking big ass cock a doodle cock. Hellooooooooooooo sailor. But I hate men. Men fucking suxk. It's like I hate em buT i CAN;T do without. qwhat;s up wityh that chit,. I mean. Good fucking godness. ARGH. I din't think I;ve ever been with a guy that didnt' end up being a jerk in the end. I guess people are inherently jerks. But not me. I'm just a sweetheart so it sucks and blows when people act all jerk faced n shit. WTF?!!!
I miss that dumb fuck of a Mr, fixitt, And I hare him.hate him to pie ces. Gah!
LIke..ego...thi one dude that I gad a crushh on...but I was ll angry and frustratrd, and took it out on him and started hitting him. I dropped kicked him and beat him and beat ythe chit outta h ims. I think hr hARES me now. But I tinkn he's asoo adorable and I like his company, He's seeing some o ther girl bt I font' care. wont be surpirsed if He got a restraiing order seei nfg as I was all vioelnt and shit. Just jkidding! hahahahah! I have som uch aclohol in my sytem,. No t even funny!
god. wtf
I haf a sex on th ebeach and a cherry vodka sour and a cranberry vodke and a coors light beaer. Just ate coz I have teh muinchues .
i went to rht lib today and chwcked out a whole bunch of books. ton sof em . Like 6 or 7 books to keep me ooccupired in these trying times. so help us all .
My prof sent me an email earlier saying how she made a mistake on my grade so now I have an A in the class instead of a B, woohooo! I guess you can get ALL you want hif you really try hard enough,
I bought nerw running shoes so I can be fucking fabuolous as I run and lose all this fucking fat. Muy arms are fucking fat dood lor,d. I'm going to be wearing black from nw on cos it's mightly slimming, Locvve me some blach. Blck fuckin rocks my socks off. I will lose 10 pounds and be fucking fabuolius and oh so sexy and oh so perfect. Ya dig.!!! I think i'm goint to go take a p iss.
And this lady bar tender, Told em I had the prettyiest eyes! Aww I locve gettung complients. It feels goodto my soule.
Here's a recent pic ovr the weekend. I lok so skinny. luv it . It's an illusion yhough.
eat yout heart our,Yes thats' wjat I fuckin said, Eat your fucking heart out!>
I'm inebriated as I type. And shameless drove home buzzed. I try my d.a.r.ne.d hardest not to have more than 2 dr inks when I go out because , I get pissed drunk afterwards. I'm a cheap date I know.
(excuse the typo's)
God, I want aex but I hate men. I want some goo ol' fucking big ass cock a doodle cock. Hellooooooooooooo sailor. But I hate men. Men fucking suxk. It's like I hate em buT i CAN;T do without. qwhat;s up wityh that chit,. I mean. Good fucking godness. ARGH. I din't think I;ve ever been with a guy that didnt' end up being a jerk in the end. I guess people are inherently jerks. But not me. I'm just a sweetheart so it sucks and blows when people act all jerk faced n shit. WTF?!!!
I miss that dumb fuck of a Mr, fixitt, And I hare him.hate him to pie ces. Gah!
LIke..ego...thi one dude that I gad a crushh on...but I was ll angry and frustratrd, and took it out on him and started hitting him. I dropped kicked him and beat him and beat ythe chit outta h ims. I think hr hARES me now. But I tinkn he's asoo adorable and I like his company, He's seeing some o ther girl bt I font' care. wont be surpirsed if He got a restraiing order seei nfg as I was all vioelnt and shit. Just jkidding! hahahahah! I have som uch aclohol in my sytem,. No t even funny!
god. wtf
I haf a sex on th ebeach and a cherry vodka sour and a cranberry vodke and a coors light beaer. Just ate coz I have teh muinchues .
i went to rht lib today and chwcked out a whole bunch of books. ton sof em . Like 6 or 7 books to keep me ooccupired in these trying times. so help us all .
My prof sent me an email earlier saying how she made a mistake on my grade so now I have an A in the class instead of a B, woohooo! I guess you can get ALL you want hif you really try hard enough,
I bought nerw running shoes so I can be fucking fabuolous as I run and lose all this fucking fat. Muy arms are fucking fat dood lor,d. I'm going to be wearing black from nw on cos it's mightly slimming, Locvve me some blach. Blck fuckin rocks my socks off. I will lose 10 pounds and be fucking fabuolius and oh so sexy and oh so perfect. Ya dig.!!! I think i'm goint to go take a p iss.
And this lady bar tender, Told em I had the prettyiest eyes! Aww I locve gettung complients. It feels goodto my soule.
Here's a recent pic ovr the weekend. I lok so skinny. luv it . It's an illusion yhough.
eat yout heart our,Yes thats' wjat I fuckin said, Eat your fucking heart out!>
Monday, May 25, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
At last
So...
*giggle*
*giggle*
I made a B in that one class- the one in which I thought I failed the final. Really wasn't expecting that.
I failed that one exam on Tues, but I did get the exact amount points needed for a C. I ended up making a 70.1 Whew! close.
3 A's 2 B's and 1 C. I was expecting 4 A's and 2 C's but i'm not complaining.
Graduations are this weekend. Everyone I know is graduating. It's going to be weird for a bit, since almost everyone is moving away-Mostly to Houston (yuck). I love my Austin. Started applying for 'real' jobs. Hopefully I get one soon. The summer should be fun...doing research work then churning out those grad school apps. I know where I would love to go for grad school. I can't say because I don't want to jinx it. I would really really love to go there though. All my old friends are back in town for the weekend. Soo exciting!
Gotta run!
*giggle*
*giggle*
I made a B in that one class- the one in which I thought I failed the final. Really wasn't expecting that.
I failed that one exam on Tues, but I did get the exact amount points needed for a C. I ended up making a 70.1 Whew! close.
3 A's 2 B's and 1 C. I was expecting 4 A's and 2 C's but i'm not complaining.
Graduations are this weekend. Everyone I know is graduating. It's going to be weird for a bit, since almost everyone is moving away-Mostly to Houston (yuck). I love my Austin. Started applying for 'real' jobs. Hopefully I get one soon. The summer should be fun...doing research work then churning out those grad school apps. I know where I would love to go for grad school. I can't say because I don't want to jinx it. I would really really love to go there though. All my old friends are back in town for the weekend. Soo exciting!
Gotta run!
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